Money to name-$50
Assorted debts to name-$370
I got a second job working at the Wilson's Leather in Settler's Green, the town's main shopping plaza. Between Reebok and this new gig I should be able to get between forty to maybe even fifty hours a week. My rough calculations have me making around $11,000 a year now net. Roughly. As I've been mostly broke or mildly sick and/or dead for the bulk of my life that's like swimming in cash for me. Haza!
One annoying thing about summer, and something that happens a lot more at Reebok than it ever did at my old KB Toys job, is cute looking girls will come in. Part of my job description entails talking to them and once in a while when I do they'll smile back at me and sometimes act a bit shy.
When this does happen I find myself getting confused. I'm used to being ignored by people, the majority of them being girls, and someone paying attention to me and wanting to talk to me just completely throws me for a loop. It takes me a second or two to remember that I might actually be good looking and they could be getting flustered that an older, good looking guy is talking to them. Usually when this happens I tell them if they need help finding anything to ask then try to ignore them as much as possible.
I've gotten very good over the last two years training myself to think like a castrated choir boy and chatting or flirting with cute girls isn't going to help at all. The first nine months my slogan was Stay Miserable, Stay Alive, but after a while I just stopped caring about ever having any sort of love life. If I take anything for pain it's a couple Tylenol for headache or my leg. I'm quite proud of myself. It's been quite the feat of mental discipline.
For those of you in the studio audience who are confused I'll explain. When I was about fifteen I started noticing that getting...aroused made me feel like I had just been kicked in the groin. I always figured it was some sort of stomach muscle thing as most of the pain was in my lower stomach. Anyway, flash forward ten years when I somehow get a girlfriend. Private lady friend time leaves me writhing in complete agony for the next three hours even after taking two oxycodone. A visit to a specialist-apparently this sort of thing ain't normal, who knew?-tells me that I have calcium in my prostate and the inflammation from arousal doesn't agree with them and that's what's causing all the pain. They can't get the calcium out of soft tissue, if they could I wouldn't have needed mom's kidney. The usual treatment for this condition is Advil or Ibprofen, but since those hurt/kill kidney tissue I'm not allowed to take them. The kidney doctors explain that if I do take the Advil for pain and destroy my transplant they wouldn't give me another one as I'm doing it to myself this time. I was later told that if I did do this I'd probably be dead in six months.
The specialist explains this no win situation to me then shrugs. No really. He shrugs at me. He offers to give me Vicodin, which I take a for a couple months, but combined with my heart slowing blood pressure medication makes me feel like a fog headed zombie. I choose the less traveled path of abandoning all hopes of any sort of love life and training myself to never think of anything sexual. I've gotten very good at it. There are days when I wake up hurting though. I figure my body is doing things in my sleep that I have no control over. Friggin' subconscious....
Anyway, seeing cute girls smile and talk to me ticks me off. I'd like to tell them to leave me alone as I'd like to live to my next birthday without being doubled over in pain, but it would take to much to explain. It's easier just trying to ignore them.
I've decided to save up money for a new laptop before I get a PS3. I want to play Starcraft 2 and God of War 3 isn't going anywhere.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I Once Had a Dream
Money to name-$262
Total of bills that need to be paid-$763
Although to be fair $580 of that is rent that's not due for another three days. I still have plenty of time. My next pay check is Thursday and is going to be maybe $150, so I'm fairly hopeful that I can keep the lights and/or phone working. Not that anyone ever calls me, but it's good to have the option open I guess.
My parents are my landlords so the main repercussion of not paying all the rent is the rise of parental nagging, a thing I like to avoid as much as I can, but then who doesn't? Hours at Reebok are starting to pick up after a long winter, next week I'm working roughly thirty five. I haven't worked that many since September. I'll probably manage to get by for the time being assuming I cut eating out of my budget. I hate eating. It's a waste of time and money, but I'm stuck doing it.
The thing is I once had a dream. A dream of being able to afford a nice thing to occupy my time. A Playstation 3, or a new laptop complete with Starcraft 2. I realize I would have to save up money for these things, but I was confident if I put away ten or twenty dollars a week I could pull it off sooner or later. Most likely much, much later.
I was able to do that for about two weeks last summer, but that planned got scraped when I needed to stay "warm" for the winter. (Warm is in quotes because three of my four medications I'm stuck on forever give me chills. I'd be nearly shivering in a 100 degree hot tub.) I had to exhaust my savings in March and now the ship that was affording nice things has sailed, been attacked by pirates, and the crew's bodies chopped into small squares and fed to sharks.
I need a new revenue source. Perhaps a new job that pays better. Reebok is a fun place to work, but it's not paying the bills as much as I'd like.
I'll have to think up something. Any ideas?
Total of bills that need to be paid-$763
Although to be fair $580 of that is rent that's not due for another three days. I still have plenty of time. My next pay check is Thursday and is going to be maybe $150, so I'm fairly hopeful that I can keep the lights and/or phone working. Not that anyone ever calls me, but it's good to have the option open I guess.
My parents are my landlords so the main repercussion of not paying all the rent is the rise of parental nagging, a thing I like to avoid as much as I can, but then who doesn't? Hours at Reebok are starting to pick up after a long winter, next week I'm working roughly thirty five. I haven't worked that many since September. I'll probably manage to get by for the time being assuming I cut eating out of my budget. I hate eating. It's a waste of time and money, but I'm stuck doing it.
The thing is I once had a dream. A dream of being able to afford a nice thing to occupy my time. A Playstation 3, or a new laptop complete with Starcraft 2. I realize I would have to save up money for these things, but I was confident if I put away ten or twenty dollars a week I could pull it off sooner or later. Most likely much, much later.
I was able to do that for about two weeks last summer, but that planned got scraped when I needed to stay "warm" for the winter. (Warm is in quotes because three of my four medications I'm stuck on forever give me chills. I'd be nearly shivering in a 100 degree hot tub.) I had to exhaust my savings in March and now the ship that was affording nice things has sailed, been attacked by pirates, and the crew's bodies chopped into small squares and fed to sharks.
I need a new revenue source. Perhaps a new job that pays better. Reebok is a fun place to work, but it's not paying the bills as much as I'd like.
I'll have to think up something. Any ideas?
The Toilet's Fairly New to...
I was standing naked in my bathroom plunging the toilet this afternoon (the toilet recently stopped working as the tank doesn't refill when flushed. I discovered that if you take the top off and push down this small handle looking thing it works-ish.) and I remembered that I have this site. It had mostly slipped my mind and as I've been busy with work and such I haven't done anything with it.
I spent the next twenty minutes of toilet plunging (that's about average for me. My intestines and medications don't get along) thinking how in this site's first (and now defunct) incarnation I really wasn't doing what I needed to be doing. I was a bit lost and trying to be something that I'm not too good at.
Before deleting all the old entries I skimmed through them and tried to put my finger on what exactly that was, but I still can't come up with anything. In any event, when I was finally done with the toilet (I do enjoy that sense of perverse accomplishment when I finally hear that muffled gushing noise and the water, color depending what how much bleach was applied to plunger beforehand, goes surging away. I really feel good about life and that I've earned the shower I'm about to take.) I decided to take another shot at this blog.
My main focus is going to be my constant struggle my personal finances and health. Both go hand in hand so well that it seems appropriate. Also, I'm going to try to be me more. Before I think I was trying to cater towards...someone and the result was wishy-washy. I hope to censor myself less and just write or do what I want to.
This at times may not be a very pleasant, enjoyable thing, but June 6th isn't pleasant or enjoyable for me so it should stand to reason that The Sixth of June isn't either.
So, let's see where this takes me.
I spent the next twenty minutes of toilet plunging (that's about average for me. My intestines and medications don't get along) thinking how in this site's first (and now defunct) incarnation I really wasn't doing what I needed to be doing. I was a bit lost and trying to be something that I'm not too good at.
Before deleting all the old entries I skimmed through them and tried to put my finger on what exactly that was, but I still can't come up with anything. In any event, when I was finally done with the toilet (I do enjoy that sense of perverse accomplishment when I finally hear that muffled gushing noise and the water, color depending what how much bleach was applied to plunger beforehand, goes surging away. I really feel good about life and that I've earned the shower I'm about to take.) I decided to take another shot at this blog.
My main focus is going to be my constant struggle my personal finances and health. Both go hand in hand so well that it seems appropriate. Also, I'm going to try to be me more. Before I think I was trying to cater towards...someone and the result was wishy-washy. I hope to censor myself less and just write or do what I want to.
This at times may not be a very pleasant, enjoyable thing, but June 6th isn't pleasant or enjoyable for me so it should stand to reason that The Sixth of June isn't either.
So, let's see where this takes me.
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